Purple
by ForeverNerdGirl7
Summary: After hours of screaming, I finally whispered the words that I should have been spoken sooner. "I love you, too." Hermione/Ron. Ron's confession of love during the Deathly Hallows. Slightly AU. Oneshot. Written for the Quidditch Competition.


**Team: Holyhead Harpies**

**Position: Beater 2**

**Prompts Used: (Dialogue- What on earth are you doing?), (Dialogue- We can't do that), (Purple).**

**Note: This is a little AU. I Don't own Harry Potter.**

"Life was rearranging itself; bulging in places, fraying in spots. Sometimes leaving holes big enough to see through, or even step through, to somewhere else." I read quietly. I finally had a moment to myself, and I was going to spend it by doing the thing I loved most. Harry was out in town to get us some food and other supplies, and wouldn't be back for a while. Ron was outside, casting the spells and enchantments which protect the tent, the ones that I usually took care of. I tried to do them of course, but he insisted. It was unusually... _thoughtful_ of him.

Come to think of it, Ron had been acting strange the whole day. He avoided me, averting his eyes from mine. I'd have to talk to him later about it. But for now, I continued to read. Yet, as I read, I couldn't help but feel jealous of the main character. Having normal troubles of growing up and being a teenager were her biggest worries right then, yet there _I_ was, with problems much bigger on my shoulders. Problems that would change the world as we know it. I tried to rationalize it, yet I couldn't help a little green envy sneak into my head.

Hmmm.

Green envy? Why _green_? And along the same lines, why is anger red? Why is sadness blue? And happiness yellow? Surely human emotions cannot simply correspond with the colors of the rainbow. It's... illogical.

Colors are just light waves bouncing off objects, that are then absorbed by our retinas and transferred to our brain. Human emotions are just hormones that are spread across our body. I mean, they can't be related, can they? Unless the light absorbed by our retinas, when transferred to the brain, trigger certain memories or bodily processes that cause certain hormones to be released, linking color to emotion? But green is also connected to creativity, so green can't also lead to envy, can it?

Does every color lead to an emotion? What about orange? Brown? Purple? I needed research this! I needed to know! Next time we come across a Muggle library, perhaps, or if we are lucky enough to get our hands on a-

My thoughts were interrupted when I sensed the presence of Ron Weasley standing awkwardly behind me.

"Wha...What'cha reading, Hermione?" he asked, shifting his weight from one leg to another. I lifted an eyebrow.

I held up the book. "Oh," he said. "That's a... a good one."

"You've read it?"

"Oh yeah, loads of times!" he said with an extravagant hand motion. I knew he was lying, of course. He stayed there, smiling at me for much longer than necessary. I must admit it was wonderful, having him smile at me like that. We just kept smiling at each other. It was nice. Nicer than I'd care to admit.

Ron snapped out of it first. The tips of his ears grew bright red and he managed to stammer

"I-I ugh... I wanted to talk to you about... about some uh, stuff..." He scratched the back of his neck with one hand, while the other just hung there limply. He seemed so uncomfortable. I patted the spot next to me on my bed, inviting him over to sit down. He did, but not on the spot that I had offered. He sat on the complete other side of the bed, perched on the very edge, as if he wanted to get as far away from me as possible.

_Why is he so far away? Oh Merlin, do I smell? Or maybe something's stuck in my teeth! No, that can't possibly be it. Being the daughter of two dentists has given me a very good sense of my own dental hygiene. Wait a minute, is he saying something? Oh no, he is! What could he possibly be talking about? _

"- so now we've just got to... to take risks, chances, and... and well, I've been meaning to tell you that I-"

"I'm terribly sorry Ron, but could you repeat that? I'm... It seems as if I'm having a little trouble keeping alert today."

"Oh!" Ron said, bewildered at first, then disappointed, then he seemed a little flustered and relieved at the same time, as if he just came up for an excuse for missing homework. "I'm sorry. I wasn't making much sense, was I? And you must be tired, so I'll... I'll be going now-" Ron spoke, getting up to leave my room.

"Wait!" I shouted, holding my hand up.

"Come back, it's fine. I'll pay more attention this time around, I promise."

Ron took his spot on the far side of the bed once more. "Well, Hermione..." he started awkwardly, After a few moments, Ron's eyes widened slightly. His mouth gaped open, then closed again. He looked like a scared little first-grader who had just forgot every single one of the lines he rehearsed for the school play.

"I mean... it's dangerous. What we're doing. You know, with the Horcruxes and all. And... well, you hear things... on the radio, I mean, and a guy realizes that... things... they're really bad, and..." A bead of sweat travel down the side of his face. I smiled at him, encouraging him to continue. I know that Ron has always had trouble expressing himself. I was glad that he chose _me_ as the person he would open up to.

"-and in times... times like these, sometimes you've just got to, to put everything out there. In case... in case I-"

"Ron, we're all going to make it. _All_ of us. Together." I interrupted. I knew the odds weren't necessarily in our favor, but the most important thing was to keep faith in ourselves.

"'Together... yeah, I... I like the sound of that." I couldn't help but melt a little inside.

_Oh Hermione, listen to yourself. We're in a bloody war._ I had told myself. _There's no time for such frivolous thinking. Now listen to what he has to say!_

"But still, in a war you've... you've got to take risks. Chances and stuff. So there's something I've been meaning to tell you. I... I..."

I was beyond intrigued.

" I lo- love... I like your smile!"

When he finally spit out his sentence, I was ... disappointed, to say the least. As he was speaking it, I started to expect something else. I stared at my feet, rather upset.

"Oh. Well, thank you Ronald. That's very kind of you."

Ron looked horrified. "No, no, NO! That was _NOT_, what I meant to say!" He caught me staring at him

"Not that you don't have a beautiful smile! I mean, I've always liked your smile! Even in first year, when you had those huge front teeth, and-" Ron stopped mid-sentence, realizing his mistake, for once.

"No! That's not what I meant to say at all! Oh no..."

"It's okay. Keep going, you're doing fine." I sensed something was going on, and it was something more than just Ronald telling me he liked my smile.

"I don't just like your smile. Don't get me wrong, I_ do_ like your smile, but that's not what I was trying to tell you. I also.. I like your laugh and... and your eyes... and I could never pass any of my classes without you, because you're smart... but you are also kind, and- and funny, and I think that you... I think that you're beautiful." He said, averting his eyes, his entire face flushed bright red. I didn't comprehend at first. My heart started beating faster, and I knew something big (and a little bit frightening at the same time) was happening here, and I got anxious. All the while, Ron was moving closer and closer.

"What... what on _earth_ are you doing?" I asked breathlessly.

"Hermione, just...just hear me out... alright?" He took a deep breath, then continued.

" I know that... I've never really been good at all... _this_. And I know that... but uh...yeah..." He looked as if the more he said, the more trouble he had spitting it all out. "And um, I want to say that even though I give you lots of uh... lots of trouble, and I can be somewhat of an arse to you, I never really mean all the... all the things I say about.. well, to you. Wait, no! I really... really m-mean all the good stuff I'm just saying that I'm uh, sorry for all the... the bad... stuff... I guess..." He rambled on, seemingly rendered completely incapable of normal human speech. "And lots of times, when I say those things, it's 'cause I really mean the opposite of what I'm saying. You get what I mean?" he asked hopefully.

No. I had absolutely _no idea_ what he meant. Why in the world would someone say the _opposite_ of what they mean? That's certainly not how communication works.

"But the thing I want to tell you most of all is... is..." he struggled, then changed tactics.

"Hermione... I l-... I lo..." he seemed to be completely unable to speak, as if his own throat was fighting against him. There was a look of absolute terror on his face, and I believed that-

Before I could even finish my thought, I felt something smash against my face rather violently. I was terribly surprised at first, but I then saw a glimpse of red hair.

Everything made sense now.

It was like having all the pieces to a puzzle except for one, I needed that last piece to make sense of everything. Our kiss was that very last puzzle piece.

Most girls would most likely think feminine, romantic things. But my only thought was what color would this be?

'Purple,' I decided. 'This would be purple.'

The magical, special feeling of... whatever_ this_ was... could've only been described as purple. As Ron kissed me, I felt an array of emotions I have never experienced before. It was like something out of one of my favorite Fantasy books. It was thick and blurred, shocking and electric, soft and sweet, clear and defined, all at once. Without any data backup, or any information that could really prove it, I knew that this was purple.

And right then, I suddenly realized what an effect Ron has had on me. I was the kind of person who always had the need to make sure everything's perfect. I needed to double-check and triple-check all of my decisions. I _always_ had to be correct, or I would feel like an incompetent failure. But in all these years, Ron has taught me more than textbooks ever could. He taught me how to listen to my instincts, trust my impulses, and live freely. He taught me that it's okay to not be perfect, and that imperfection was a part of life. He taught me that instead of hiding in shame because of our mistakes, we should learn from them, to make us a better person. He taught me that sometimes, you've just got to believe in yourself. He taught me how simple life could be, if we could just lean back and enjoy it. And all this was evident in that little decision to trust my intuition without any particular scientific or logical reason, when a matter of years ago, I would feel the urge to delve deeply into every library that had any information at all on the subject matter. And then I realized just how valuable Ron was to me.

But this isn't a fairytale. We didn't live in a problem-free world, where as soon as you kiss the love of your life, your problems are over. Doubt started to creep into my mind. We were in the middle of a war, with no guarantee we'd make it out unharmed. What if... what if, God forbid, something happened to Ron? The mere thought of it made the bottom of my spine tingle in that unpleasant way. I would barely make it if anything happened to him as a friend, but in a relationship... if he left, it would tear me apart. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. So we couldn't move. I couldn't be with him, for the sake of my own sanity. A single tear rolled down my face as I pulled away from Ron, but I quickly brushed it away before he could see.

We were both completely and utterly breathless. With all my thoughts, I hadn't realized how carried away we'd gotten.

"Hermione," Ron whispered, smiling brilliantly. He seemed euphoric, which made me feel horrible inside. "Let's _start_ something. I want us to be together." he said, cupping my face with one hand as he pushed a strand of hair behind by ear. I started to cry, because I felt so sad, not only for myself, but for Ron. He looked the happiest I'd ever seen him, and I was about to take that happiness and shred it to little pieces before his very eyes. But Ron mistook them for tears of joy.

"I love you Hermione." he breathed.

I didn't respond, feeling sicker and sicker as every second passed.

"Don't you feel the same way?" Ron asked. He didn't seem worried at all, obviously assuming that I had just gotten choked up. He fully expected me to say yes, and why wouldn't he? I had just kissed him passionately for an undetermined amount of minutes.

I took his hand and gently pushed it away from my face as I looked away, shaking my head. Oh God, this can't be happening.

I felt Ron jerked back as if he'd been slapped. His expression froze, like a deer in headlights.

"W-what? Hermione-"

"Ron, we can't do this."

"We- we can't... what?" He sounded less like a heartbroken teenager, and more like a child that had just been disciplined for something he didn't do. Sad, confused and innocent at the same time.

"We can't start a relationship. We can't be together." I tried to say it as gently as possible. Furious sobs were building up in the back of my throat, pounding in my head, screaming to be released.

I looked back up at his face, and was completely shattered by what I saw.

His expression was no longer one of a frightened deer or child. Now it looked like his entire body was crumbling. He seemed more grief-stricken than I have ever seen him. It looked like everything he has ever wanted was handed to him, then fell apart in his arms, and as he watched it all go, he was falling apart too. I've broken both our hearts in one night. I've never felt so vile.

"Ron, please, listen to m-"

"No!" Ron manages to choke out. 'No...'

"Ron, it's _because _I care about you, I don't want to lo-"

"Just stop it, Hermione!"

"But Ron, please-"

"SAVE IT!" he shouted. I reeled back, alarmed.

"I'm done." He whispered, looking away so I couldn't see his tears. He got up and stormed out of the tent.

I ran out after him, but it was too late. I watched as he Apparated away.

"RON!"I shrieked. "Ronald, please! I'm so sorry. Come back! I take it all back! All of it!" Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

Hermione, said a voice inside of me. You're being stupid. You know better! He can't hear you, he's gone.

I told that voice to shut up, with the use of other choice words and terms that were not entirely appropriate. But I didn't care. This was all my fault. I should have known better. After hours of screaming, I finally whispered the words that I should have been spoken sooner.

"I love you, too."


End file.
